No, it's not Swine Flu.* (But wouldn't that be funny?)

This is the first time I've been vertical for more than an hour in the past three days. Being sick sucks, but it's also SO BORING. And it makes me feel boring. How did I spend my day? Sleeping, writhing with discomfort, coughing, whining, being overly affected by death-due-to-illness in books and movies, angry with the beautiful day outside, too hot too cold too over being infirm. Fever dreams. (Fever dreams are actually pretty neat.) I'm feeling significantly better at the moment so we'll see what tomorrow brings. Plus, I HATE ABHOR DETEST CANNOT ABIDE summer sicknesses! Why!? Can't we all just get over it in the fall/winter/spring and just let summer be summer? And to top it all off: the lurking threat of Swine Flu. The first friendly fatherly check-up:
"High fever?"
"Uhhh.. slight?"
"Cough?"
*cough cough hack* "Yes."
"Chills?"
"Dad, are these symptoms of Swine Flu? I don't have Swine Flu."

So, I don't have Swine Flu. Disappointing, in a way. I mean, I feel this awful, why can't it be something legendary? Truly epic? The kind of story with which you bore your obliging grandkids.

In addition to feeling like shit, being ill puts a damper on my life. I missed the bottling process of the homebrew my roommie started (bottle beer, drink beer, right?). I missed my first creative writing class (been looking forward to for 1+ month). I had to reschedule an interview/orientation for a volunteer position that I have been trying to set up for ages. Missed a dinner with friends. Missed 2 days of work. Damn it! I have no time for this! Not to mention the last week before the GRE: valuable studying time wasted away as I slept fitfully in sweaty sheets. If nothing else, I hope this doesn't adversely affect that. Or whatever. This whole common cold/common flu thing also just tops off a great week of bodily mishaps; the bruises and scrape from a mostly minor bike crash have faded somewhat but are still clearly evidenced on my body. Just get better, really. Already.

And I don't even have Swine Flu!!!


*Swine Flu is a very real and significant threat. Please treat it with the respect and caution exercised by the media. Please capitalize.