Goodbye, Northwest

Every now and again I start to panic because...  We leave in less than two weeks!  I can't stop myself from thinking, 'This might be the last time I ever do this.'  Which is absurd, as I will be back here again.  As Jamie has expressed it, I feel like I'm in limbo -- waiting.  I feel antsy and I am ready to move.  It's this waiting that's frustrating.  Especially the waiting in Seattle where I'm unemployed with too much time on my hands but uninterested in cleaning/sorting/packing.  It's much better when I'm adventuring and taking in my last breaths of the Northwest summer.  Jamie and I just took a short camping/hiking trip to Mt. Rainier and visited the meadows at Spray Park to see the wildflowers blooming.  It was stunning (looking beyond the mosquitoes). 

I love that mountain.  I grew up with a magnificent view half a block away from my parent's house in Olympia.  I took it for granted until I moved to Extremadura where there is nothing of the sort.  Pennsylvania?  I don't know, but I think not.

I keep thinking of things I want to do before I leave.  I found out that Jamie had never been to the San Juan Islands...!  Then my mind goes off, planning a bike trip around San Juan, Lopez, and Orcas Island.  And I'm not sure there's time, especially if we go to the Olympic Coast for a few days.  

I'm sad to leave my friends and my family.  I've spent my entire life here (minus traveling and Spain adventure) which, of course, means it's time to leave.  I'm so excited to explore somewhere new and make that place my home for awhile.  We're already talking about what we should do for Labor Day weekend, we've been researching vegan/vegetarian restaurants in Pittsburgh, locating the REI, finding hiking nearby.  But as I'm leaving, I'm liking Seattle more and more.  Why?!  Oh, right, it's summer and I don't work on the weekends so I can go explore with my friends.  Right.  I think I'm also letting the city in and appreciating it for what it is instead of wanting it to be different.  And the beauty?  I'm not sure I can find this elsewhere.  That's what I'm about to find out.

Three weeks ago or so I got this tattoo.  Goodbye, Northwest, for now.

Belly dancers in blue and striped men on stilts

I went to the Fremont Street Fair/Solstice Parade/Festival today. I've never been before, as I've never lived here in the spring. I'm beginning to love this city. It seems uptight, a little prudish, for how "liberal" it is. But... It's totally acceptable for people to walk and bike around clothed only in body paint at the Solstice Parade. I had heard tell, I missed naked biker parade at the beginning, but I saw many-a painted penis and breast walking/biking around later. I got to Fremont (25 minute walk from my house) later than desired so I had to push through crowds of people to meet up with friends. Friends who had staked out an amazing spot for the parade! It reminded me a bit of the Procession of the Species in Olympia but this was comprised of groups and more organized. The floats were incredible. The costumes were beautiful, erotic, nightmarish, astoundingly creative. The music, eclectic and generally very good. Everyone around me seemed so happy, enjoying everything. Fair food, mmmmmm. I had a blackened salmon burger and a scone. Mmmmmmmmmm.

Just about everyone I talked to today was there. I haven't seen that many people in Seattle before, more crowded than Bumbershoot or other street fairs. The whole experience was surreal: I'm not sure if it really happened. There's a lot to process. It was great. I'm liking Seattle more and more all the time.

Seattle! The big city (revisited)

I've been home for over two weeks now. I have my old job again, a place to live, a bed. The foundation for a home. I've been homeless since I left Bellingham, over a year and a half ago. Since then I have had the internal struggle between absolute freedom to do as I please (move, leave) whenever I please and the desire for a home, a place to belong, a life, a routine. This whole situation is what sent me to Central America in the first place. Now, so many people ask me what my next travel plans are. I tell them not to encourage me. It's a plausible life, something that I know: work travel work travel. I graduated nearly two years ago. What do I have to show for it? I'm a barista, like when I graduated. But I've also spent over half of the time in different countries. Learning, living, loving, leaving.

I've been told by a friend that my travel blog posts are good but my "home" blog posts are much better. The original goal of the blog (oh-so-many months ago now) was to let kith and kin know what was happening in my travels in Spain so I wouldn't have to mass e-mail. Maybe make them work a little for an update. When I mention some major instance from my travels and my audience doesn't know to what I am referring, I generally respond, "Didn't you read my blog?!" It's a bad assumption to make, as most don't read the blog and many whom I don't see often do (i.e., friends of the parents). To know that anyone reads it is utterly flattering. I do appreciate any and all comments that come my way.

I know that making Seattle my home will take time. Patience. I felt alienated in Bellingham when I first moved there at the beginning of college but after 4 years I didn't want to leave. I just moved to Ballard, which seems like a city-within-a-city (I'm all about things-within-things that may or may not be microcosms) so I'm hoping I can make it my own Bellingham. I want a home. I think I have satiated that wanderlust for the time being and want to feel comfortable somewhere. I want somewhere to call home. I want a reason to stay.

As usual, this entry is simply a jumble of random thoughts that probably shouldn't be read by anyone. Thanks for reading.