Cathedral of Learning

I decided to go to the University of Pittsburgh because, why not?  I received so much advice--mainly absurd and unsolicited.  You know, like taking mushrooms and going on a vision quest or getting extremely drunk and going online, deciding, accepting.  Which makes me wonder:  is that how other people decide?  Shit.  Is that what I should have done?  As always, the decision was anti-climatic.  This can be surprising for people, but I think it's because I had already made my decision about a week and a half ago and was making sure that it felt right before I admitted it to myself and committed to it.  Jamie and I were looking at a map of the United States, talking about the road trip we would take to get to whichever school I chose.  As I traced one proposed path, it ended in Pittsburgh.  Weird.

I am so excited!  Now it feels really real and I can begin to plan, hope, dream.  So soon, my days of food service will be over!  I will take an incredible cross-country road trip with Jamie!  My life will change in crazy, dramatic, subtle, unexpected ways!  It will be the end, the beginning of so many things.  It already makes me nervous, stresses me but it's time.

Plus, the Cathedral of Learning!  Ding!

Bellingham Complicates the Situation

Jamie and I went to Bellingham this weekend and I feel more confused about my looming decision.  I keep telling myself to STFU and decide already but I can't!  We stopped at Tulip Town outside of Mount Vernon for the annual Tulip Festival.  I needed to check this off my "Things to do in Washington before I leave" list.  It was a typical spring day, with unpredictable and blustery weather.  We left after I finished working on Saturday, so we passed most of the crowds as they were leaving and we were entering.  The rain left and the sun came, lighting the sky in that surreal way as though after a storm with a faint rainbow.  The tulips were beautiful, of so many shapes, sizes, colors.

We continued on to Bellingham, where we stayed in a (too) expensive, (too) tacky hotel by the freeway.  I agonized over where to eat and decided on Boundary Bay, if only for the beer sampler.  Yes, the ESB is still my favorite.  The next day--an obscenely gorgeous spring day--we went to the Mount Bakery (vegetarian Eggs Benedict!) and walked around Western.  I had to show Jamie the legendary MHB statue, the fountain where I skinny-dipped after graduation, my favorite study place in the library.  We walked down to Boulevard Park from Fairhaven, lounging in the grass like days of old, watching the undergraduates engage in adorable flirtation and frisbee dates.  We dined at Flats, an excellent tapas bar in Fairhaven that lived up to my memories of the place.

Now for the confusion: I love Bellingham!  I don't want to live there now, but spending time there again reminded me of so many things that I did enjoy about the nature of the town, and many of the things that are lacking in Seattle.  Yes, I did remember some of the things that I didn't like--the incestuous nature of the place (I only saw six people I recognized on this trip), twenty-one-year-olds running around everywhere on Saturday night.  It made me confused about Ann Arbor, which is larger than Bellingham but is probably similar.  This was the largest hesitation toward the University of Michigan.  But on Sunday, sitting in the sun outside the Firehouse Cafe, I wanted it again.  As I've said before, with every day comes a different idea of what I want.

Now For a Coin Toss

I mailed forms declining admission to Indiana, Simmons, and Rutgers this weekend.  I panicked slightly as I pushed them into the outgoing mail slot--am I narrowing my future?  (Well, yes, but I have to choose just one.)   Remaining: University of Pittsburgh and University of Michigan.  The deadline for Pittsburgh has been extended to April 30, giving me more time to not think about it.  I have had two phone interviews for internships in Pittsburgh and should hear back by the end of the week--hopefully making my decision easier.

I am tired of receiving advice from people who know nothing about me, or the programs, cities, or all of the above.  I feel conflicted: after a recent conversation with an LIS professor at the University of Washington about the two schools, I was certain (for about twenty minutes) that I should go to the University of Michigan.  Apparently, in the elite world of library science academia, Michigan is more prestigious.  Whenever I mention that it is one of my final contenders, people seem very impressed.  And I like it.  Until I remember that I don't really care about prestige.  I went to Western (anyone who went to WWU and has friends who went to UW understands) and loved it.

My future is starting to freak me out again.  Maybe it's just the decision that still must be made.  Or the huge change that comes with the decision.  When I started this process last summer, I started dreaming about the grand trip I would take before I started school.  Ideas of Russia, Argentina, Japan, or anywhere.  This isn't going to happen, which is realistic and sensible (money, money, money).  The plan is for a great American roadtrip to the school of choice.  Which is good.  But the epic trip seems so far away.